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You Can be a Friend without being a Fixer.


We Nines are gifted with empathetic hearts.

We also want nothing more than for everyone around us to be at peace.

Combine these two traits with our sometimes perfectionistic traits (wing 1) and the result is that we can’t help but be “fixers.”

Think about it Do YOU like when people try to fix things for you?


Not always helpful, right?


Here are a few thoughts to consider when you want to try to fix things for someone.


  1. You aren't responsible for other people's emotions.

  2. It's not your job to fix things when people feel bad because emotions aren't problems to be solved. They are an important part of life.

  3. You can't make people feel better. You just aren't that powerful. Their feelings come from THEIR thoughts.

  4. Your role is to love them, comfort them and mourn with them.

  5. How will you know if you're doing it right? It will feel peaceful and loving. Not graspy. You won't be doing it so you can feel better.

Be a friend. Not a fixer.


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 by Heather Fillmore Coaching