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Why Enneagram 9s Tend to Overshare

Updated: Oct 28



Are you revealing TMI to others? Oversharing can create a false sense of intimacy before trust is built up. We need to know the difference between vulnerability and oversharing. Vulnerability is sharing, with boundaries, with someone you trust. Oversharing is sharing where that trust hasn’t been built, and it’s more about YOU than building the relationship.

Here are six reasons Enneagram 9s tend to overshare at times:

  1. Their nervous systems get activated whenever they feel a threat to their state of belonging, and they become impulsive.

  2. They’re so focused on acting naturally that they actually do the opposite.

  3. They crave connection and want to fast-track the relationship.

  4. Sometimes they just feel like they need to purge after holding it all in for so long.

  5. They feel an impulse to fill in the uncomfortable silence (and they hate small talk.)

  6. They are hoping it will evoke pity or sympathy. They’re just feeling lonely.

We all overshare at times! So give yourself grace.

We just want to catch ourselves, let ourselves sit with the discomfort for a few breaths, then ask if we’re sharing to get validation or to create a quicker-than-normal connection. If yes…we may want to hold back the reins!

If this is you and you're looking for a change and deeper connection in your life, come join an incredible community of Nines at The Bold Nine Academy.

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