Updated: Nov 3, 2022
For over a year and a half, I've been solely working with Enneagram Nines in my Coaching practice. And here's something that I've observed:
A lot of us think that to be emotionally mature means that you never feel unseen, lonely, unmotivated, or mad. We think that once we have these tools, we should have our emotions figured out all the time. We think our relationships should always be great, we should never stress, and our enneagram nine "struggles" should be non-existent.
But emotional maturity doesn't mean you will never feel bad.
So What Is Emotional Maturity?
Emotional maturity is realizing you are responsible for how you feel. It means that you understand that you are the one who creates that bad feeling, with your thoughts.
That might seem a little harsh. Like a lot to take on. But we are talking about maturity here, and it takes gaining that understanding to truly reach that level of maturity. It takes work and practice, but I can tell you it is worth the work to get there.
Understanding this and applying it has made more of a difference in my life than I can describe. I've also seen many other lives transformed by this knowledge.
Here are a few ways I've watched Enneagram Nines flourish as they come to this understanding of emotional maturity:
I have seen their marriages become fun again.
I've watched them achieve goals that they never dreamed they would be able to achieve.
I've seen shy, people-pleasing, resentful Nines become more light-hearted and confident.
I've watched people dealing with big, scary-feeling problems stop worrying and find peace without circumstances changing one bit.
It's Ok to Feel Bad Sometimes
But it doesn't mean you won't ever feel bad. That's not real life. Life is supposed to be hard sometimes and there are things that you want to feel bad about. There are going to be struggles. There are going to be negative feelings. That is what makes you a human being.
Just don't feel bad about feeling bad. And remember that there's a way to overcome feeling bad when you're ready to do the work with your thinking.
I'm here to help you see the way.
That's what my whole program is about. I am here to help you take your struggles and negative thoughts and transform them into what/who you want to be. I am here to help you turn those weaknesses into strengths.
Are you feeling ready for renewal in your life? What areas of growth are you ready to cultivate? I'd be so honored to help you on your journey.