Updated: Nov 3, 2022
I’m known in my family as “the soft-hearted one.”
I solidified this label for good when my husband and I adopted four kiddos from hard places (three with lifelong disabilities.)
I used to have a hard time with this label. But now I celebrate it as one of my super powers.
I have learned, though, that there needs to be a balance of leading with your heart, your head, and your gut. Enneagram Nines have the hardest time leading with their head. They usually lead with their Feeling Center and most disconnected from their Thinking Center.
It's All About Balance
If you tend to make all your decisions and express yourself from your emotions without thought, you may find yourself as caring and receptive, but also struggling in situations where a more gut-instinct or rational response is more helpful.
As our Thinking Center is low in its expression, we can become less connected to the details and information that make up the daily flow of life, and not very good at making decisions or being intentional.
So, to grow in our mental and emotional health, we need to support a more balanced and healthy expression of our Center of Intelligence.
Here are some ways to help you balance out your centers of expression as a Nine.
Build self-awareness around the difference between being authentic and receptive vs. being reactive and oversensitive. These are the two ways of expressing our feeling center. What do you notice happening in your mind when you're expressing yourself in each of these ways? What feelings are you experiencing? Just notice and observe. No judgment.
Practice naming and describing your emotions to yourself at any given time. Doesn't matter if you're feeling good, bad, or neither.
Just tune in.
This helps you move from the Feeling Center, into the Action and Thinking Centers. The more you practice this, the easier it becomes, and the more naturally you will utilize those other centers.
Activate your Thinking Center on purpose by asking yourself what you know and think about whatever issue is at hand.
Practice having more opinions and ideas.
Practice giving a voice to your feelings and heart often through any creative practice that lets you express your feelings without becoming focused on what you're producing.
Examples would be dancing, storytelling (even making up stories on the spot for your kids), art, design, or quiet meditation. It's all about doing this without worrying about any outcome.
If you want a fast track to this growth... try The Bold Nine Academy! I'll help you by working through your thoughts and feelings with you and teaching you some incredible tools that get results.
Come see what's possible for you!