Hey, Enneagram Nine: You Don't have to Try Harder

Updated: Nov 3

A lot of times, we Nines think that the reason we don't have the life that we really want is that we don't try hard enough.

This was what I thought. When I looked at the amount of money that we had in our bank account, I thought that I needed to try harder at sticking with a budget.

When I looked at my body shape in mirrors or pictures, I thought I needed to try harder with eating better and exercising.

When I resented my teenagers so much because of how lazy they were, I thought I needed to try harder with being a better mom.

When I thought about how much I was disappointing God, I thought I needed to try harder to do everything that He asks me to do.

When I looked at how many times I had messed up as a mom and damaged my children, I thought I needed to try harder to follow up more with them on sticking to our family rules.

When I thought about all the goals and dreams that I had but never actually did anything about, I thought I needed to try harder with sticking to my schedule.

Why couldn’t I just try harder?

No matter how many times I told myself to try harder, I could never seem to do it.

But here's what I have since learned: I don’t need to try harder. And neither do you.

It’s never what we do that is the problem. The problem isn't our actions. This is why trying harder never works.

The reason that you have the amount of money that you have, or the body you have, or the relationships you have, or the connection with God, your friends. boss or family members that you have, or the successes that you have, yes...they are because of what you do, but you have to remember that what you DO happens because of what you FEEL, which happens because of what you THINK. See that? It always comes back to our thoughts.

You Have The Power

You have what you have because of what you think. And if you don’t change what you think, no amount of trying is ever going to change things.

You don’t need to try harder to get the life you want. You just need to be aware of what you're thinking right now that's causing you to feel and do what you do. That is what's creating everything in your life.

Then you have to make simple but powerful adjustments to change what you are thinking. And as you make daily choices to apply those thoughts again and again, you will start getting the results that you want!

These three simple steps—awareness, adjustment, and applicationaren’t about trying harder. They are simply actionable steps that come easily once we get used to taking them.