I have seven children who are in grades K-12.
All seven are suddenly spending their days at home, unable to hang out with friends or play sports.
Most of them have mulitple teachers and/or therapists sending me emails about how to keep them learning everything they need to learn in the coming weeks without going to school.
Do the math...that's a whole lot of emails and details and schedules for Zoom meetings.
So this...combined with the fact that we are confined to our home or at least to activities away from others has caused my thoughts to go crazy. I've been overwhelmed to say the least! And that's with taking a break from coaching my clients this week or doing much of anything else in my business.
I imagine you are in a similar boat. Maybe not as many kids ;) but having to make a whole lot of changes in your life to make this new Coronavirus experience work.
Have you been as overwhelmed as me?
Well...here's the deal. Regardless of how painful all of this change and uncertainty is, it's just a circumstance. And that means that it's neutral.
So we get to create any experience that we want to create.
First of all, I have decided that the best way to handle this is to give myself and my children a lot of grace.
This is all a new experience. We've never had to use technology to keep up on our daily school lessons, nor have we ever had to stay distanced from everyone in our lives. Never!
My brain has been f-r-e-a-k-i-n-g out.
But I have to keep reminding myself...that's what brains do. They scan for evidence for how something new could be a huge problem. They want us to think that we might die.
I've been watching my brain very closely this past week. And when I let it go wild, I feel so overwhelmed, I can't seem to figure anything out, and the kids get the brunt of it because I turn into a mean mom.
Here's my model from my self coaching session:
Circumstance: Homeschooling 7 kids
Thought: This is awful
Feeling: Overwhelm/Dread (I go back and forth)
Actions: Yell, blame things on them, forget that there are solutions, feel sorry for myself
Result: This is awful
See how that happens?
So, I'm setting an intention every day.
First, I'm asking myself, "What kind of mom do I want to be during this uncertain time?"
My answer: I want to be present and fun!
So let's put those things in the A line.
A: Be present and fun
So then I move up the model from there.
What kind of feelings would drive the actions of doing things that make me present and fun? What feelings will help me to zero in and make the day great?
I'm going to choose something to intentionally feel each day. I'm going to feel on purpose.
Here are some feelings I'm going to shoot for. I'll choose one per day, and make that feeling my focus for the day:
And no matter what happens...no matter who throws a toy at her brother, or complains about being bored...or who misses a class on Zoom or quits working on a math lesson that I can't help with...I'm here for it.
I'm here for all of the feels...and I'm going to redirect my thoughts so that I can feel one of these emotions, which will produce much better days for me and my children.
I'm going to stay open to the idea that I can feel this emotion all day today.
Even if it ends up looking like me loving myself (or being amused with myself, or curious about myself, etc) after I've lost my temper and gone to my room to cry. Those emotions are always always an option. Even then. What feelings would you like to purposefully feel?
What thoughts are you going to choose to think to make you feel that way today? Get creative.
We've got this, mamas. We've totally got this!