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9 Relationship Truths for Enneagram Nines

Updated: Oct 27, 2022

Before I understood these truths and started practicing them, I had difficulty enjoying my relationships. I found myself spinning in my thoughts all day about how I responded, and I felt invisible often.

Many Enneagram Nines may feel this way. But once I started really working on my relationship with myself, all my interactions magically started feeling easier. This work reminds me of getting a degree. It’s hard, it requires lots of patience, sometimes I bomb my tests, and things get messy. But man, is it ever worth it.

Here are 9 truth bombs that may change things for you as a Nine:

  1. You can love a relationship AND you can want and ask for more for it.

  2. Disagreeing with someone’s point of view isn’t nearly as risky as you think.

  3. You need to feel healthy assertiveness in your body many times to create muscle memory.

  4. Contrary to your well-practiced beliefs, people really do want to hear your opinions.

  5. Needing time to process what you want to say isn’t a sign of weakness.

  6. Setting boundaries with someone doesn’t mean you don’t love them.

  7. Expressing your needs doesn’t make you a burden. It’s simply showing the other person that you matter to you. And that’s healthy.

  8. If someone doesn’t contribute the same effort into a friendship that you do, it’s only about what’s going on with them. Not you.

  9. If you can learn to truly love and accept yourself, your relationships will feel much, much easier. You’ll allow yourself to be you and won’t need so much from them. You can just enjoy them.

I can help you find greater ease in your relationships. Come join me at The Bold Nine Academy! It's a beautiful community of Enneagram Nines learning and growing together. We'd love to have you!

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